Thursday, September 9, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Sacrifice, What Is It & How Did It Become So Apart of Who I Am...as a Wife, Mother, Friend, Etc?
Sacrifice is defined as the forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a far greater value or claim. Wow, this statement could not be any truer in my life then it is at this very moment. Reason: It's 11:00pm and all have settled in comfortably in their beds (including the hubby), warm and snug dreaming of the next days, weeks, heck even months events while I sit up, exhausted, hungry (but that's because I'm a little 'greedy'-Lol) and pleading for a new day because this one was not to my pleasing at all, "Sacrifice!. It's the new normal for me nowadays and I'll be honest, had I known that in this current role as mother, wife, friend, committee member, etc., etc, that I would be seriously pushing aside alot of my dreams and desires for others I probably would not be sitting here blogging about "Sacrifice":-), lets just be real. Even though I'm absolutely grateful to no end for what God has done (and let's be clear, is currently doing) in my life with regard to health, strength, my unbelievable family and a strong faith life, I still don't think I would have volunteered for this position knowing what I currently know, it's tough! However, I know I am who I am "today" because of those people (my husband, my babies & my family) in my life, so big up God! I thank you everyday for your grace and "mercies" over me and my family! "However", there are some days I look back and think, "wow, I should have been there by now or doing this by now". I mean by show of hands, who among you have never had that thought? Many have but what we've come to understand is that it's all about "Sacrifice", for women I feel ESPECIALLY!
To give up or 'forfeit' something of high value (my dreams, career, goals) for the sake of something or someone considered to have a far greater "Value" (my family and everything that goes with them). Wow, who would "KNOWINGLY" walk into something that sounds as crazy as that statement does? We would (and we do it everyday), momas, sistergirlfriends, sisters, aunts, co-workers and so many more! I think I can admit that deep down I kind of knew that by deciding to get married and soon thereafter decide to have a family that one day that sacrificial part of this deal was going to rear it's little head. I honestly believe, that in the beginning, we really don't have a clue of the magnitude of what we're soon to be walking into with regard to sacrifice. I know-I know, some of you are probably saying, "I'll give up my life for my kids, husband, family, etc" and I hear that and honestly I've probably made that statement a time or two on this 10-year ride as a wife and mom but I start to wonder, did I truly mean it? Transparency time! I can say, at the time I probably made those statements about being ready to take on the sacrifices of life for everybody I love, I probably' hadn't gone through anything, well let's just say I hadn't gone through much so it was very easy for me to shout that to the world but now, hmmmmm, I'm a little on the fence. Now don't get me wrong, I have been truly blessed (with what and who I have in my life) and make no mistake about it, I'm in this one for the long haul but if we can be honest, I have my moments when I stop and think, "wait, I didn't sign up for this part"!
About a month or so ago I was just recently playing the role of a lifetime as a wife, mom and corporate marketing & public relations representative for a small but growing company here in Atlanta. Well, the position sort of ended because there was a need that I, as a mom and wife, was not morally able to fulfill. The job requirements became a bit more than what I was honestly able to handle, not intellectually of course, I mean after all I attended ASU-Lol, but however more physically (hands on travel, etc.) and mentally (more time spent working and away). As unfortunate as this was for me I knew where my priorities were and that was with my kids (taking care of my family first and foremost). So after this happened I was a little bothered to be honest and started to really ponder on how women truly deal with sacrifice with regard to career, goals, activities, family, etc. When I started writing this blog I was in a 'why me' kind of place but as I continued to write (as many who know me know that writing is truly therapy for me) I started to really understand why sacrifice is such a huge part of the lives of most women. However still, in knowing and understanding the fact that we are the sacrificial bearers, I still want to hear from other women on how they feel about it. What is that you're giving up for the betterment of your family? What have you put on hold or on the back burner so that your family is ok and taken care of? And as I write this, I think about the many women out there who are also sacrificing on the other end. They're having to go to work in jobs and positions everyday where they're not fulfilled but they have to in order to "provide" for their families, that's sacrifice on a whole other level but we do it because we have to.
So my question is to mostly women but men please feel free to oblige me on this one as well: Is this sacrifice issue mostly placed upon the woman? Now, I know there are men out there who are putting it down everyday sacrificing for their families (my husband being one of them) but I want to understand this from the woman's perspective. I mean, my husband loves his job and his role as father, husband, etc. so I don't really look at what he does as sacrifice but I do understand that there is a certain element of sacrifice on his part for his family but what I'm talking about is having to 'give up' something for something or someone else. My question, Is Sacrifice mostly looked at as the woman's responsibility when it comes to doing what's best for the family? I wonder, in most cases, if the situation were reversed and men had to say no to a job or position or opportunity for the sake of their families, would they, should they sacrifice for the benefit of their families? During the past few years I've had to turn down some pretty decent opportunities because based on what I do, I have to do it full throttle or not at all and having a young family and Major responsibilities at home, the latter is always the decision I'm left with and that's having to not do it all. Now, let's be 100% clear, I'm not really complaining and griping, well not anymore, Lol. I've come to realize that this is my life (at the moment) and there will be a time when I can go, do and be all those things that I desire to (and I also find more creative ways to try and do some of those things as well) but as for now, my husband, my children and my family come FIRST and I'm truly (getting) ok with that, lol. However I decided to blog about this just to find out where most women (and men) are on this issue.
So, how many of you are in similar situations where you've decided to sacrifice OR FORFEIT or just briefly 'put on hold' your dreams and/or goals for now? How does it feel and if you've been ok with your decision (to put your dreams and goals and aspirations on hold for now) how did you feel when you initially had to say "No" to that fantastic job, career and/or opportunity (i.e, a promotion on your job, a call in the ministry, a move, or something as simple as just taking time out for yourself)? How did (or does) it feel when you know you simply just "CAN'T" do it?
Just sharing my commentary, what's yours?
April (STBIA)
Struggling To Balance It All!
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