Choose Your Friends Wisely
Do not be fooled. Bad companions ruin good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 (TEV)
We need to encourage our children to make friends with people who will pull them up instead of drag them down. The moment your kids start going to school, you no longer have the primary influence on their life. They start to become influenced by their peer group. And the older they get, the more they look to their peers.
So, as a parent, you need to have a conversation with your children about who their companions are going to be. You need to help your kids understand the impact friends have on them and the importance of choosing good friends.
We need to encourage our children to make friends with people who will pull them up instead of drag them down. People who will encourage them and be positive influences in their lives. Because the number one factor that will determine whether they succeed or fail in life is the kind of friends they choose – friends who hold them back or friends who spur them on.
We all want to belong, no matter what our age. We are all looking for friends and connections and acceptance. We want to be a part of a fellowship. Why? Because that’s the way God wired us. The Bible says, “Since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others” (Romans 12:5 NLT).
Therefore, It’s important that we teach this truth to our children, that God created us to belong to others and to need others, because our society teaches the opposite. Our culture is one of hyper-individuality where everyone is a lone ranger. We should only take care of ourselves and look out for our own interests. But this leaves children with no support and no sense of belonging. Is it any wonder depression and other emotional illnesses are on the rise?
The truth is, to live an emotionally healthy life, we need people in our lives. We need HEALTHY, SUPPORTIVE relationships. We need each other. We need the belonging that comes from fellowship with other believers. That’s what the church is for.
Rick Warren.
So I'm wondering, as I read this daily bread, (Adults) Are "we" choosing our friends wisely? Who are you calling "friend"? Or do you even have "friends"? And if you do, are these people truly in your life to lift & encourage or do you find yourself around individuals who are not only dragging you down but are also dragging your dreams & ideas down? Per the post above by Rick Warren, we have to understand that we "need" friendships & relationships, this is what makes us "HUMAN" but what it is also saying is that we have to be careful with who we call "friend".
The words above were right on time for me as I'm dealing with some issues with Asia & some of her choices in "friendships" @ school. It's amazing to me that kids have to be taught that they are worth more than how someone may be treating them. Hmmmm, maybe some of us adults need to be taught this same lesson. Asia has this friend who is really nice somedays & others, not nice at all. She thinks this kid is the best friend or person she will ever know so she puts up with this roller coaster of mistreatment from this kid. Well, this is now where it becomes my job as "parent" to not teach Asia to dislike this kid but to recognize what's a healthy relationship & what's not? So I presented her with a list of questions to ask herself about this person to determine if they're really her friend or not. And if that person sounds like a really good friend after she's answerd those questions about them, then it's her choice to continue being friends with them and if not, then maybe she should start to play with & make new friends. Sounds easy to do for adults but maybe not for a child.....I beg to differ. I honestly think we, adults, have the hardest time in recognizing & letting go of toxic and unhealthy relationships! It is extremely important to me to have 'friends', EXTREMELY but for me it's the "quality" of the people around me, not the quantity so now I have to teach this to my easy-going, friend-loving daughter.
Well, long story short, as Asia begin to ask herself these questions about this little boy "she", herself, begin to realize that maybe this kid wasn't the nicest person she knew. Now I do believe she's still friends with him (I mean, she's 6, lol) but I really think (per her conversations about this kid now) she steps back from time to time when he's not being a "good friend" and asks herself these questions and probably decides not to play with him that day.
1. Can you share your happy stories with this person?
2. Is he happy with you when you share a funny story or talk about your project or family?
3. Does he play with you when all of his other friends are around?
4. Is he nice in front of other people?
Not surprisIngly, her answers to most of these questions were no. Hmmmm..."adults", are you thinking about asking these same questions regarding a possible "unhealthy" friendship?
As hard as this task may be, because of how were all "wired" (to want & be accepted and to want friends), it's so important that we establish good, healthy relationships with people. I agree, good friendships will ultimatley determine if we succed or fail in life! So why not take a lesson from our children....step back & reevaluate some friendships, ask some hard questions because "FRIENDSHIPS" are too important not have or to have bad ones! "Are you choosing your friends Wisely"?
April
STBIA
I welcome the good and the bad relationship because God uses people to move us to the next level....our growth and developement is dependent upon our interactions with another. Yes, we must get to a level of understanding how to navigate through relationships. I believe that when we come full circle(becoming childlike), it will be an easier process that will not hurt so much. A child doesn't care what the other kid has done, they still see that person like God sees them.....AWESOME....COOL....THE BESTEST! I think that's why they can forgive sooooo quickly and easily. I noticed with my 2 girls that there is a shift depending on age....my 6yr old doesn't give it a thought, but my 10yr old tries to figure out what the problem is(surely they must have a problem if they don't want to be MY friend). As an adult, I understand that some people just don't fit into my lifestyle, but having reliable, relateable, and reciprocal relationships are extremely important to me, so I ask a few questions that allow me to categorize accordingly....VERY BASIC QUESTIONS that help me.
ReplyDelete1) Do they ever call me?
2) Do they include me in their life(events)?
3) Do they listen to(value) me?
4) Are they spiritual or religious?
5) Is my spirit comfortable around them?
I have a few more questions, but these are my basic questions that help me decide on the type of relationship you and I will have and whatever it turns out to be, I'm cool with it. I think we must know ourselves and what type of friend we are to others, so that we can decide if we want to share all or some depending on the person....it's a continuous process!~MsDior