Too Ambitious.....Should We Only Be Concerned with Being a Wife and Mother?

"Peaches, you're waaay too ambitious".  I think you need to focus on what's important and that's your family right now".  Wow, does anyone dare to dream a wee bit bigger than you're suppose to (I do), or maybe you went up for that job that no one really thought you could get, except you (I did and I got it), or maybe you dared to go somewhere and do something that nobody else in your immediate would have even thought to do, "you're too young, who'll be with you" (well I did, I left and I'm still doing ok).  Why is it that people place their own inhibitions on you?  And honestly, I do believe that if you truly love someone you tend to want to think about what's probably best for that person but what we have to realize is, "my life" is not "yours" to live.  Ever since I was twleve or thirteen years old I've been dreaming big dreams (well, at least that's what I've been told-lol) and that's the difference between me and other folks, I never thought they were BIG DREAMS, I thought "EVERYBODY" thought the same way I did-Lol!.  My moma would always say, "that child got some big dreams don't she" and I always wondered what she meant by that.  I mean, aren't other folks thinking and dreaming and wishing the same way, and if not, why?  What is it that makes people think, "I can't do that", if everything in them tells them that they can!?!?  Is it their environment or their current situation, what is it?  Honestly, I've never thought, especially as a kid, that there was "nothing" that I couldnt do, especially if I really worked at it and tried my best (okay corny but it's so true). 

Okay now fast forward twenty or so years, I'm 35 years old with "MONUMENTAL"responsibility, my husband, my children, their lives, their needs, their wants, now, their dreams!  Okay, not so much about me anymore and honestly that comes with the territory.  I've learned that the things I necessarily think are my passion or my calling kind of have to "wait" because my family comes first and foremost!  Back in the day if someone offered me a job or asked if I could take part in an special event or even asked if I could go on a trip, my first thoughts were a resounding, "how much does it pay" and/or "when do we leave".  Now, my first thoughts are, "how can I incorporate my family into this?" and honestly if I can't in any way and if it's not going to be the "ideal" situation for them, then my answer is always "No", and not "No" forever but just "No" for now.  Realizing that if it's for me now then it'll be for me later.  See I think that's the difference in being 'too ambitious' with "no focus" because with no focus, it's absolutely and completely about "you" but when you are truly ambitious but "with focus" and you know what's important, it becomes ABSOLUTELY "not about you".  So I say all of that to pose this very important question that I've had to deal with lately concerning some very important decisions regarding "me" in the past couple of years.  And let's be clear, this question didnt just come up because of my recent quest to be on Oprah or to start my own business, etc., no, this question has honestly been bouncing around in my head for a few years now.  Honestly it started when I decided to be a stay-at-home "Moma".   Some of you think, "why did she have to think about staying at home", well because that job, like no other (if you're a hands on parent like I am) requires you to have absolutely no life of your own.  You are literally in the trenches all day, feeding, cooking, teaching, playing, going to activities, going to the grocery store, dr's appts, sick days, well days, etc., etc., people dont truly understand the actual time and work it takes to stay at home with your kids.  So after a while of this, I was done, I wanted it to be over, was ready to go back to work because honestly, work, in my opinion, was so much easier than what I was doing...EVERYDAY!  But I dealt with that question, do I go back or do I stay for my kids, eerrrgghh!  I want a life other than this is what I would always think to myself but you know what, for reasons I knew were going to benefit my family and my kids in the long run, I stayed.  Another example, when it was time for me to go back to work, I wanted a big, high profile job like the one I had before I started staying home, so I started applying to all these positions that would have me gone as much as my husband and even preoccupied with work when I was home.  Well after awhile of thinking....Big Money but no time with my kids, I decided that I had to take something less high-profile, less money and that would require me to still be able to be that hands on, full time mommy and let's be clear, I love my husband and my babies sooo much that honestly it was an easy choice. 

So here we are now, kids are a little older, husbands definitely more self sufficient when it comes to trying to balance life with work and kids and activities......okay, well not that 'self sufficient' cause I'm still trying to get that one down myself, Lol but he can handle it way better than in earlier years:-).  So now moma has a couple opportunities that she's prayed about regarding her family and honestly this could be you with a big job opportunity or a travel opportunity or even to step out on faith to quit a great job to stay home with your family or to begin your own business.  Whatever your "Big Opportunity" may be mommies, you're at  a crossroad in your life and you need to make that decision as to whether you go "left" (into a great situation that may cause you to not be as full time or hands on as you use to be but will not take you away from your role and responsibility to your family, however things will definitely change a bit) or you go "right" (where you're comfortable, life is really easy, there's no "big" dreaming and you just keep putting "life" off til' it's better for the people around you).

SHOULD WE ONLY BE CONCERNED WITH BEING A GOOD WIFE AND MOTHER?  I think about all the women out there who are successful and have awesome careers, loving husbands and good kids and are living out their dreams (whether she's a secretary, a nurse, a teacher, a judge or president of her company) and I wonder what sacrifices have they had to make in order to do what they love and still be there for their families.  Yes, we don't live in people's homes so we don't know truly how they're faring with the mom having a role or career outside of the home.  I'm sure that in order for 'mommy' to do what she does there is some great sacrifice on the part of the entire family (because moma's role is so important in the family therefore, in order for her to do what she does, everybody has to step up..."sacrifice").  So I think about my doctor, who happens to be a woman, bryce and asia's pediatrician, who happens to be a woman, my OB, and you know it, she's a woman.  I stand back sometimes in awe of them and wonder, how do they keep up the schedule that they have and still try to be "in the moment" with their families.  And what my primary care physican told me was that, "it aint easy April but if I didnt do what I do then I wouldnt be the great mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter and "Doctor" that I am.  She told me that she loved her family but this, what she was doing, helping people and taking care of people was about her and her calling (what God put down in "her") and not about her kids or her husband or their "lifestyle".  Now they benefit from my being here and working in my calling but in no way is this calling 100% about them.  Wow, I couldn't have described what she said any better than if I had uttered those words myself!

So mommies, is your dream or a goal that you have "too ambitious" for you because you're a mommy or a wife or because you already have a job that you "like" but it's not your calling.  Should you stay where you are because honestly, that's what everybody else is doing and they seem to be doing ok?  Should you accept somebody else's reality as yours?  Heck no!  My thoughts on this, you get one go round' in this world, if you dont make it count for something, your loss!  Now, my disclaimer, I'm not at all saying that being a good wife and mother arent good and fulfilling jobs, please no one take any of what I'm saying as that....Never for a moment would I think that!  What I'm saying is, if that is what fulfils you then I'm for it and I pray you be the best wife and mother you can be!  But if your friend or sister or aunt or wife has another calling and wants to step out on faith to persue it, you then support and pray for her that she not only is doing the right thing but that she succeds in all that God has called her to "balance", wife, motherhood, career, sisterfriend, co-worker, "Dream".  You pray God equipts her to be successful at all that her hands touch and not tell her that she should maybe "not" be too ambitious.  Let's support one another ladies and husbands and heck even kids.  We put it out there on the line everyday for our families and friends, all we ask is for a little support in our "Ambition"!

Just sharing my commentary, what's yours, seriously, what are your thoughts?

April